A feeling of warmth rose to the back of my neck.
“My electricity bill doubled last month, Monica. Doubled. Because of THIS.”
“I’m almost finished. ”
She let out an irritated laugh.
“Very well. I’ll give you ten dollars if it matters that much. Don’t be greedy, Eleanor. It’s only a little electricity.”
Greedy.
That word has stayed with me.Compare Prices
I had spent forty years bringing cooked meals to grieving families, watering neighbors’ plants while they were on vacation, and helping people without expecting anything in return.
“Please unplug the cable,” I said.
“I’m almost finished. Ten more minutes.”
“Now, Monica. ”
She sighed as if I were an unreasonable child.
Then she slowly unplugged the cable and began to wind it up.Physical
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“You know,” she said, “that’s why I didn’t ask you. I knew you’d make a big deal out of it.”
I didn’t reply.
I gave him the smallest smile I could, turned around and went home.
After closing the door, I stood in the dark hallway, listening to my own breathing.Astronomy
I then went to the kitchen table .
The electricity bill was still hidden under the fruit basket.
Two hundred and twenty-seven dollars.
For years, I let things go because I was tired.
Because I lived alone.
Because being “the nice guy” was easier than confrontation.Compliance with the law
But that night, something changed.
I picked up my phone and sent Diane a text message.
***Mystery solved. I know why my electricity bill doubled. And I have a plan.***
My phone rang less than ten seconds later.
Diane.
I smiled when I saw his name on the screen, but I didn’t reply.Dictionaries and encyclopedias
So I sent a text message:
I’ll tell you tomorrow. I love you 
As I lay back down, I almost smiled.
I didn’t know how Monica would react.
But I knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t going to stop just because I had asked her to once.
The next morning, I woke up with a lucidity I hadn’t felt for years.Books and literature
I made some coffee.
Then I crossed the lawn in broad daylight and went straight to Monica’s flower bed.
My garden gnome was sitting there .
He was still wearing the blue paint she had applied to him.Culinary specialties
The chipped nose remained visible, and under the blue, I could make out traces of the original red hat.
I took him in my arms and brought him home.
Nobody stopped me.
Monica’s Tesla had disappeared.
Probably running errands using the electricity I paid for.
I placed the garden gnome next to the electrical outlet in my garage.Physical
I then made arrangements to be informed if Monica returned to my property.
The gnome looked perfectly innocent sitting there.
That’s exactly what I wanted.
Around noon, Diane called.
“Mom, you look too happy. What are you doing?”
“I’m just tidying up the garden, darling. ”
“You’re up to something. I can hear it.”Gardening
“Only if Monica gives me a reason.”
“Mom…”
I laughed.
For a moment, while watering my tomatoes, I wondered if I had become ridiculous.
I was sixty-four years old and I spent my afternoon preparing to catch my neighbor trespassing on my property.
Was I being petty?
