Grief, certainly.
But also something unexpected. Not forgiveness. Not yet. Maybe not ever in the way people like to imagine it. But a loosening. A small space where the past no longer had its hand closed around my throat.
“I believe you’re sorry,” I said. “What you do with that will matter more.”
Then I climbed into the helicopter.
As we lifted above the lawn, the Reynolds house grew smaller beneath us. The children pressed their faces to the windows, waving. Patricia stood in the snow with both hands clasped beneath her chin. Harold raised one arm. Rachel waved wildly. Celeste stood apart from them, thoughtful and still.
Marcus did not wave.
He watched.
Back in Austin that evening, after baths and leftover gingerbread and four sleepy retellings of “the Christmas with the helicopter,” I tucked each child into bed.
Noah asked whether Marcus was really their father.
“Yes,” I said.
He absorbed that silently. “Was he scared of us?”
“No, sweetheart. I think he was scared of the truth.”
Ethan asked if Marcus could come see his science fair project someday.
“Maybe.”
Sophia asked if Grandma Patricia was sad because of her.
“No,” I said firmly. “Adults have feelings because of adult choices. Not because of children.”
Olivia, half asleep, asked, “Did he like us?”