In 2024, I discovered my love for fiction books, and since then, I have read around 200 books, mostly fantasy, romance, and thrillers. I also decided to create a TikTok account to talk about my love for these books, where I constantly recommend books to girls and share reviews.
One day, I posted a picture of a scene from a romance book I was reading. It was a beautifully written moment between two characters, emotional and intense, but nothing too explicit (there’s nothing wrong with that), and then I received a comment from a man that said, “Women are basically reading porn.”
That one comment perfectly sums up the way men view women’s reading habits, and here I’m going to talk about why this comment is not only wrong but deeply misogynistic, and why women who read romance and romantasy are constantly criticized in ways that men who consume similar content never are.
Nobody calls Game of Thrones “porn for men” even though it has the same explicit content as women’s books.
Here’s what bothers me the most about men calling romance books “porn for women”: they consume content with the exact same level of explicit scenes, and nobody says anything about it.
Game of Thrones is a perfect example.
That show had explicit sex scenes in almost every episode. Graphic violence, nudity, sexual assault depicted on screen, and brothels as major plot locations. The books are even more detailed.
And yet, nobody calls it porn. Nobody reduces the entire series to just the sex scenes. Nobody tells men who watch it that they’re “basically watching porn.”
Instead, it’s considered prestige television. It’s praised for its complex plot, political intrigue, and character development. Men can talk about loving Game of Thrones without anyone questioning their taste or assuming they only watch it for the sex.
But when women read romance or romantasy books that have similar content, suddenly it’s pornography. The entire 400-page book with worldbuilding, character arcs, political conflicts, and emotional depth is reduced to a handful of spicy scenes.
And Game of Thrones is just one example of many. Men read fantasy books with explicit content all the time. They watch movies and shows with sex scenes. They play video games with sexual content. And nobody bats an eye.
But the moment women enjoy similar content in book form, it’s shameful. It’s embarrassing. It’s “basically porn.”
So the difference is who’s consuming it.
When men consume sexual content, it’s seen as normal, acceptable, or just a small part of a larger story. When women do it, that’s all people focus on.
And that’s the double standard.
Men are allowed to enjoy media that includes sex without having their entire taste in entertainment questioned. Women aren’t.
Romance and romantasy books have just as much plot, character development, and storytelling as any other genre. Some of the books I’ve read this year have more complex worldbuilding than most fantasy series men praise.
But because they’re marketed toward women, and because they include romantic and sexual content written from a female perspective, they’re dismissed as shallow or pornographic.
It’s misogyny. Plain and simple.
Men don’t want to admit that women’s stories, women’s desires, and women’s preferences are just as valid as theirs. So they reduce entire genres to sex scenes and act like we’re doing something shameful by reading them.
But if reading a romance book with a few spicy scenes makes me a porn consumer, then every man who’s watched Game of Thrones, read a fantasy novel with sex in it, or played a video game with sexual content is doing the exact same thing.
The only difference is that nobody’s shaming them for it.
