“Who is she?” I asked, though some animal part of me already knew.
“Someone from work.”
The room tilted slightly. “Are you having an affair?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to.
“Caleb.”
“It started before the baby was born.”
My knees actually buckled. I grabbed the back of a kitchen chair to keep from going down.
“How long before?”
“A few months.”
“A few months.” I heard my own voice come out flat, foreign. “Things don’t accidentally happen for months, Caleb.”
“I know.”
“No — you don’t get to keep saying that like it means something.”
My voice cracked on the last word. He took a step toward me and I threw my hand up.
“Stay there.”
He stopped.
“Is it over?”
His eyes dropped to the floor, and I already knew the answer before he gave it.
“No.”
I thought of his mother’s voice through the wall. You told me it was over.
“Your mother knew,” I said. It wasn’t a question.
He nodded once.
“Since when?”
“Before Lily was born.”
I stared at him, and something in my chest went hollow and hard at the same time. “She knew while she was sitting in my living room asking about diaper brands. She knew while she was bringing me casseroles. She knew while I was pregnant.”
“Jess—”
“She knew.”
“Yes.”
I turned away from him because I couldn’t stand looking at his face for one more second. And that was when the second thought hit me — a thought so sudden and so ugly I almost didn’t let myself finish it.
“The daycare,” I said.
He said nothing, which told me everything.
I turned back around. “The daycare wasn’t only about the mortgage. Was it.”
His silence answered before he did.
“Why did you actually cancel it?”
He dragged both hands down his face. “I needed the refund.”
Ice moved through my veins. “What did you do with our money?”
He hesitated. I watched him decide whether to keep lying.
“Tell me.”
