My Boyfriend of 9 Years Said He’d Put a Ring on My Finger When I Acted like Wife Material – I Didn’t Argue, but the Next Morning, He Stared and Murmured, ‘You… You Can’t Do This to Me!’

So I scrubbed the bathroom, washed his gym clothes, and put his favorite lasagna in the oven. Every time I opened the oven door, I wanted to cry.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I had let things slip.

Around noon, I went to put his spare keys in the desk drawer and found a folded sheet of paper under some receipts. At the top, in Simon’s handwriting: Marriage?

Underneath was a list.

Cooking — 7/10

Cleaning — 9/10

Appearance — 8/10

Money — 8/10

Family — 7/10

In bed — 6/10

At the bottom, circled twice: Wife material — 7.2/10.

I stood in my spotless apartment, smelling his favorite dinner, holding my own report card. Last night hadn’t been anger. The man had a grading system.

I took a picture of the page. Then my hand went to the closet on its own, and I pulled out a suitcase and started throwing sweaters into it. I was still at it when my phone rang. Simon’s mother.